my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
