I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
