During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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