I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
