Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just had sex bonerless
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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