I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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