So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
