i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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