i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
