so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
