u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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