and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
