My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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