I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
