Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
