so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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