Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
