I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
