so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
sex in a hospital.. check
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
