doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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