thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
