i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize