My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
