I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
