: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
