you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
