Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
