Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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