Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
