This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize