Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
