Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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