Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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