Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Pooping to opera.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
