another moral hangover. fuck.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
