i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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