Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
