Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
