do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
