guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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