I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You made out with two different species that night
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
