yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
