was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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