Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
