id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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