Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
