PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
