omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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