You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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