O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
