Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
